Well, Skipper's hormones have returned to
equilibrium, and once again Casa Lesbo has returned to its
normal state of bliss.
Saturday Skipper/Hoppy/Spanky and I got to talking about
her artificial leg. Guess what I found out--Artificial legs
are held on with suction!! All those hydraulic whooshing sounds
that Hoppy emits when she walks are due to the automatic pump
being activated in her leg.
Well, you know, curiosity got the best of me and I just HAD
to look inside one of Hoppy’s legs! I wanted to see
what was in there—I became obsessed! Hoppy has several
legs—kind of like an accessory for every season. She
has the tan ones for Summer, the pale ones for Winter, the
Industrial Strength model for “excessive physical exertion”…she
even has one with a built-in motor for bicycling! The list
goes on and on. Normal fashion rules do not apply to leg wearing.
In fact, they’re the exact opposite. ALWAYS wear white
before Memorial Day, and NEVER after Labor Day.
So, while Hoppy was napping sans leg, I snuck into the leg
corral to have a snoop. Hoppy goes to the fake-n-bake, so
I opted to peer into the Summer tan model, figuring that it
would be the most recently worn. What to my wondering eyes
did I see? The whole top part is hollow, and Hoppy uses it
like a purse! Uh huh! She had money, lipstick, and TAMPONS
all shoved inside that thang! Isn't that just too fabulous!
She never has to worry about whether or not her clutch is
coordinated with her outfit...she just throws everything in
her leg! Then when she needs access to one of her treasures,
a simple touch of the button releases the suction and drops
her leg off! Viola!
I can hardly wait 'til she gets her "aqua leg",
you know, the one with the built-in flipper in the foot, to
see if it has a goldfish compartment inside! Wouldn't that
be just too cool?! I wonder how I can get one of those leg
compartments, without of course having to have my leg blown
off by a landmine. Hmmmm. Think of all the potential uses.
You could have a mini-fridge in there, keep your snatch, oops
I mean SNACKS cold. Hook up a blender and serve daquiris.
Maybe even a little microwave oven for hot appetizers. The
possibilities are endless!
I'm on a quest now. Stay tuned for more exciting updates
from Casa Lesbo as they develop. |
